i suck at pretending

i seriously can't take it anymore, i'm done pretending i don't miss you and i'm ok. i'm not ok, everything i see or hear or do makes me think of you. i miss everything about you being here next to me, or me being there next to you. i miss sleeping next to you, i miss you making dinner at my house, i miss your family, your mom, your cousins, your aunt, your stepdaddy thing, and your dog. i miss everything about you, and it's so hard to act okay. everytime my phone rings, i hope it's you, but i'm smarter than that, and i know it wont be. but something inside me still makes me wish it was you. i don't miss the way you treated me sometimes, but i'd take that back in a heart beat just to have you here with me again. :/ i'm done pretending i'm okay, cause i'm not, and you will never understand..